We begin in Saudi Arabia, where a couple of novice light-heavyweights pocket between them, from a globally televised eight-round fight, a sheikh’s ransom for a globally televised fight so lacking in quality and skill that it would have struggled to feature down the bill at East London’s York Hall.

We witnessed Love Islander Tommy Fury record a points victory over YouTuber Jake Paul.

The most notable thing about this contest is the most astonishing excuse, offered for a defeat, with the beaten Paul claiming that while taking a nap on the day of the fight he had what he termed "a wet dream."

This, he said, caused a loss of testosterone which drained the strength from his legs.

You’d better believe it! Well some may do but it certainly ranks above that offered by Fury’s big brother Tyson, now a world heavyweight champion, who after a positive dope test, maintained it was because he ingested uncastrated boar’s meat. 

A similar meat-eating excuse was offered, but still brought a conveniently lenient six-month ban, for the Mexican middleweight Saul "Canelo" Alvarez.

But wait. There’s more. When British boxer Conor Benn, son of former world middleweight champ Nigel, failed the first of two drugs test before a scheduled catchweight contest against another fighting son, Chris Eubank Jnr, the substance found in his system was the female fertility drug clomifene, which can also aid muscle building in men.

Benn Jnr, who was immediately suspended by the boxing authorities, has always protested his innocence, but four months after the proposed fight with Eubank Jnr he had not explained the positive finding. Then came yet another gob-smacking pronouncement.

The Mexico-based World Boxing Council (WBC) ruled that he failed. The test was not intentional and could have been caused by a highly-elevated consumption of (wait for it) - eggs!

The boxer says he was consuming "thirty to forty" eggs a week while preparing for the fight in London last October.

While he reckons the Voluntary Anti-Doping Association dope testing system could have been at fault rather than the eggs, the WBC swallowed the eggs theory, saying they had consulted experts on supplements and diets and concluded that "eggs contamination" was the cause.

But were they boiled, fried or scrambled? Or perhaps even Eggs Benn-edict?

Of course, the fact that Benn’s dad is a WBC Ambassador has nothing to do with it.

Eggs-actly!